My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
