she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
