How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Found the puke drawer
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
