how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
