Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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