I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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