This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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