A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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