I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
