actually, I'm a sock model
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
