Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
