What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
How external is "for external use only"?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
