did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
