drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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