Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
