i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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