My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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