Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
