Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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