5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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