A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
