So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
