the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
His nipple licking is glorious
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