I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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