Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
