Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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