there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize