She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
