wanna go halves on a baby?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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