Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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