i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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