sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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