you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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