youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
