I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
