were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
