And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
