Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
