I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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