so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
