well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
