I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
