is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
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you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
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well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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