i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize