NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
