So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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