Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
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What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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