Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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