I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
