Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
