At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
