forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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