Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
