"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
