we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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