Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
