it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
