so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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