It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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