she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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