I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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