Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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