FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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