I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
