Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
