Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
