Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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