I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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