Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
