does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
All I want is dick and wine.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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